I’ve started to view life cyclicly and this has contributed immensely to a resurgence in feminine energy within my self and a greater feeling of purpose.
Life as seasons is something that our feminine cycles mirror and, much as we need to rest during our bleed, I also believe that winter is a time for rest.
It’s not that I don’t work during the winter, it’s more than everything slows down and I spend time checking in internally to make sure I’m where I want to be. I read, I reassess what I’ve accomplished over the year and where I want to go, I nourish my body with soups and citrus and, this winter, I took a hiatus from men and dating.
It’s a cocoon phase, if you will, and I think every woman needs one.
Men might be find to do the same thing day in and day out, they are, after all, built on a 24 hour hormone cycle. But women are not built that way. We were never meant to be forced into a man’s world and made to function like a man.
As this phase is coming to an end, I thought I’d give you a little rundown of the growth it inspired.
Books I’ve been reading
It started with Think and Grow Rich, and I was genuinely surprised at how validating this book was concerning women. If you want to hear a man tell you why men need women to be successful, this is the book for you.
I moved on to the old faithful manifestation series of books, The Secret and its sequels. If you’re noticing a progression from masculine energy to the more spiritual and feminine, you would be right. This was not intentional but it highlights the need for this hibernation.
Next up was Signs, a must for anyone who has lost someone and believes that there is something after we’re done here on earth.
Having my spiritual feet underneath me, I read The Courage to Be Disliked. The format of this book felt tedious somehow, but the message was essential. It’s definitely written for men but it chips away at Good Girl Syndrome nicely.
And lastly, my current read, Women Who Run With Wolves. This book has me absolutely chomping at the bit to create some revitalizing group trips with the purpose of the reclamation of feminine energy.
If you’d like to see those group trips, let me know here:
Food
This winter I’ve had a focus on simple, nutritious recipes. Soups, beans, easy pastas and tea made from local herbs here in Albania.
One thing I’ve noticed in the difference between American culture and Southern European culture are the simple recipes. I think easy to make, healthy foods are a major reason they tend to be healthier. I know a lot of Americans want to write it off as “better ingredients” but I think that’s only a small part of it.
Recipes here are simple and easy to make. In the US they tend to be complicated and have a ton of ingredients. The result of this is convenience foods and unhealthy people.
Learning some very simple recipes has been a game changer.
Relationships
It’s taken me a long time to get to a place where I felt ready for an actual relationship. When I left for Italy, I wasn’t looking for one. I really just wanted to enjoy dating again. I wanted dating to be something I actually enjoyed doing.
After a bit of that, the dating started to feel empty. I realized I am someone who prefers emotional and intellectual connection and, often, I’m not even attracted to anyone without it.
So this winter I’ve had a chance to really assess what I want out of relationships and I think, finally, I am ready. I can’t promise I’ll be any good at it, but I’m ready to try.
There’s something to be said, however, for the trauma to celibacy to dating for fun to ready for something serious pipeline. I’m happy I took the time I needed to focus on what mattered to me and to allow myself to figure out who I was and what I actually wanted.
Female friendships
I’m going to be really vulnerable and admit that these are hard for me. There is a lot of jealousy and backstabbing amongst women and I don’t do well with it.
I’ve never considered women to be my competition and it is jarring to me when I find that other women do feel this way.
It’s off-putting to see women smiling at other women but subtly tearing each other down. It’s disheartening to find that a lot of women care so much about getting a man that they will burn any other women, even their close friends, to the ground to accomplish it.
Nevertheless, I’ve been focusing on nurturing more female friendships because I love that women are creatures of community and I really do think that having other women around us is essential to our energetic health.
I’ve been on a mission to find more supportive, non-catty, female friends who just want to see each other do well. If we’re being honest, this is not always easy to find, but I think it’s priceless when we do.
What’s next
So that was my winter hibernation here on the Albanian coastline. It was much needed period of rest and recalibration.
Next I’ll pick up speed with my travels again and am headed to Athens and then Rome.
My focus on simple, homemade recipes has resulted in many of my clothing items being too big, so I’ll do a bit of shopping in Athens and, undoubtedly in Rome. I’m focused on basics and a romantic, soft capsule wardrobe, so I’ll keep you posted on that.
Thanks for being here and if there’s anything else you’d like to see more of, let me know in the comments. <3