The Four Types of Feminine Energy
Part 2 of the Feminine Energy Series
Tired of being told to embrace or “lean into” your feminine energy with no tangible advice on how to actually do that??
Yeah, me too. But keep reading, this should help.
Let’s start with the book that got us here, The Circle of Feminine Power by Larisa Renar.
Feminine energy isn’t one nebulous energy; it can actually be broken down into four parts. In examining these four parts, you can see what energy comes naturally to you and what energy you can cultivate.
There’s much more on these energies in the book but I’m going to break down what I got from it, as well as conclusions I’ve made from other studies.
The four types of feminine energy:
The Lover Energy: This one is probably self explanatory, it’s the sexual energy and everything surrounding it. This is the energy that initially attracts a man. This is the “freak in the sheets” energy. This is what hooks a man in and keeps him there while he experiences the other types of energy. This is not the energy he will fall in love with.
The Girl Energy: This is the playful, carefree energy. This is the energy that makes men to weak and bend over backwards for a woman. It’s sweet, innocent, wide eyed and enjoys the heck out of life. This energy is impossible to maintain when a woman is stressed. This is, in my opinion, one of the first things to go in marriage. Stress, kids, a husband draining you with a demand to be mothered will drain this energy. Depleting the Lover Energy usually follows. If your “girl energy” is nowhere to be found, it’s time to take a break and go recharge it.
The Queen Energy: This is the goddess energy. When they say, “men love bitches”, this is the energy they are talking about. This is the energy that maintains your boundaries, holds your standards high and demands good treatment. Contrary to what insecure men and the patriarchy will tell you, this is not masculine energy. Men are constantly seeking approval from the feminine. They strive in everything they do to gain this approval. This is what drives them to work hard, make money, dress stylishly, etc. They want approval from the feminine and they get disgruntled when they get this approval without having earned it.
The Mistress Energy: This is the nurturing energy. This is the caretaker. This is the energy that packs lunches, rubs backs and cares for those around us. In the book The Circle of Feminine Power, the author is very clear that this energy is not given out until after the couple is engaged. Read that again. No nurturing, no packing lunches, nothing of that sort until he has earned it with commitment. Mistress energy is not mothering energy. Nature is very well set up in that mothers are not supposed to desire sex with their offspring. Mothering energy is unconditional, mistress energy is not.
If you are struggling with how to lean into your feminine energy, this breakdown should help.
It should start to be clear where you are able to easily access the energy within yourself and which energy feels depleted.
Once you’ve isolated that, you can begin to recharge and cultivate the types of energy that might not come easily to you.
Patriarchal Myths:
Let’s dispel a few myths that seem to counter the feminine energy types.
1.) Love for your husband should be unconditional.
NO. It should not be. The only man you should love unconditionally is your son. As you can probably see, now that we’ve broken down the types of feminine energy, unconditional love overrides the queen energy. It tells the queen in you to sit down, shut up and take it. No queen, no goddess, no “bitch” is ever going to do that and neither should you. You care for a man with Mistress energy but never at your own expense long term.
To be clear, sometimes in the short term, it’s unavoidable. Sickness, economic stress, lost jobs, can all be stressors that negatively impact us. I’m not saying throw the whole man out over some hard times. What I am saying is that staying in a marriage that is mentally, physically or emotionally abusive simply because you are obligated or you are supposed to “love unconditionally” is not required. It is not healthy and never has been. And it’s certainly not noble, like we have been lead to believe.
2.) Any timeline you have been given about when to sleep with a man.
Look, here’s the thing: The Lover energy is what is going to drawn him in. It’s the cookie that nature dangles at men to get and keep their attention. Give it to him before he has had a chance to experience the other types of energy you might have to offer (minimally Girl energy and Queen energy) and you might lose his attention.
Lover energy is going to keep him hooked, girl and queen energy are what’s he’s going to fall in love with. Mistress energy is the reward for commitment.
Sleep with him whenever it feels right to you. I just want you to use the types of energy to better understand, protect and empower yourself.
3.) Men are visual.
They are, sort of. Men are drawn to energy. They are drawn to how women make them feel, more than anything else. Men are also ego driven. This is why women who meet current societal beauty standards are going to attract a lot of men. Beauty standards keep changing. What they are seeking is the ego boost from being with a women who, at that moment, is being told she is the “most beautiful.”
More evolved and secure men get their ego boost from how well cared for the women in their sphere of masculine energy are.
But more on the Sphere of Masculine Energy and how that affects feminine energy in the next article.
To conclude this, I highly recommend doing some introspection and examining what feminine energies come most easily to you. Which ones can you tap into easily and which ones feel drained or less accessible?
From there you can figure out how to recharge the ones that are drained and how to cultivate the ones that are not as easily accessible.
A lot of times social or religious conditioning can cause us to shut ourselves off of some of these energies. Usually the Lover and Queen energies. But everyone is different and you might find you are strong in those and weak in the others.
We all have these energies in us. They are ours. There is no right or wrong way to express them. Do what ever feels right to you.
Ultimately, this isn’t about men, how we’ve been conditioned or about giving you a new arbitrary standard you are now “supposed” to meet. It’s about empowering ourselves with unfettered access to our own innate power.
Feel better with dominant queen energy? Great. Embrace it. Love reveling in your Lover energy? Excellent. Do it.
This is about you. It is for you. Not for men, not for society and not for every single person we are expected to nurture and care for.
Here’s to your energy, your uniqueness and your own innate power.